Youth-led dialogues break the silence and challenge harmful gender norms in Lesotho

In a small community in Lesotho, a young woman named Motheo Masioane once watched helplessly as her neighbour endured regular beatings from her husband - often in front of children. Like many young people growing up in communities where gender-based violence is normalized, Masioane learned to look away, telling herself it was "none of my business."

Many years later, the 22-year-old Agricultural Science student at the National University of Lesotho represents a new generation refusing to stay silent. Through the U Mang - Thella Hee youth dialogues, implemented by partner organization She-Hive and supported by UN Women South Africa through funds from the Government of Ireland, young people like  Masioane are unlearning harmful norms and becoming advocates for change in their communities.

The intergenerational dialogues create a bridge between youth and community elders, including chiefs, elders, and traditional leaders who hold deep knowledge of Basotho culture. Through a question-and-answer format, these conversations explore the daily realities of practices like early child marriage (lenyalo la bana ba tlaase lilemong), abduction (chobeliso), and inheritance (bojalefa), examining how they shape relations between men and women in Lesotho. During the discussions, elders illuminate the origins of these practices, and together participants propose adjustments that could prevent them from perpetuating gender-based violence.

Confronting cultural practices

Maloka Phamotse, a lecturer in African Languages and Literature who specializes in Basotho culture, works with participants to distinguish between authentic cultural values and harmful distortions.

“Some men have resorted to forced marriage as a way of covering up rape, claiming it's part of our culture. But according to true Basotho tradition, there must always be consent from the woman and her family. We're seeing child marriages justified, girls as young as 15 forced into unions only to be divorced years later after the man has escaped rape charges," he explains.

The sessions address how cultural sayings reinforce tolerance of abuse. Examples include phrases advising women to ‘take a sip of water to keep your mouth occupied’ rather than speak up, or to ‘die in one’s husband's house’ rather than leave. These messages, embedded in everyday language, teach girls from childhood that enduring violence is preferable to seeking help.

Creating safe spaces for truth

What makes these dialogues transformative is their emphasis on creating genuinely safe spaces where young people can share experiences without judgment. Masioane describes how participants help each other recognize that behaviors they've normalized, such as controlling partners, isolation, and verbal abuse, are in fact warning signs.

"As children, we notice things adults don't think we notice. Growing up, I saw violence and wondered why that woman still lived with her husband. But you find that when it's normalized, it's very hard to disapprove something that's settled in somebody's mind as the right way, when it's actually wrong," reflects  Masioane.

“Everybody gets to be themselves and say what's on their mind. We fix each other's mistakes, help each other see that what we thought was normal actually isn't. Someone will ask a question, and I think, 'I haven't considered this from that perspective before," she adds.

Recently, when a friend's partner demanded to know her location via video call and became angry when she declined, Masioane felt equipped to intervene. "I told her, 'Nobody should talk to you like this. Don't settle for manipulation - it will kill you slowly, mentally.'"

Measuring change one conversation at a time

The program uses baseline assessments before and after interventions to track shifting attitudes. Questions probe beliefs about power dynamics in families, women's rights, and justifications for violence. According to facilitators, responses change gradually as participants engage with the material.

"The resistance mainly comes from beliefs influenced by cultural practices and religion. Men misinterpret being 'head of the family' to mean they can control their partners as property. Our challenge is helping them understand we're not saying women should overpower men but we're saying everyone deserves equal rights and respect," explains She-Hive Association U-Mang Thella He program facilitator, Fosa Liau.

Reflecting on the power of youth engagement in addressing harmful social norms, Jennifer Francesca Acio, Program Specialist for EVAW at UN Women in South Africa, observed, ‘ The courage of young people to question, speak out, and reimagine tradition shows us that culture is not static—it evolves. When youth lead conversations on equality and respect, they become powerful agents of change in preventing violence against women and girls, and in shaping communities where dignity and safety are non-negotiable.”

A new generation speaks up

For young people raised to mind their own business, these dialogues represent permission to care, to question, and to act.  Masioane credits the program with giving her the language to challenge harmful norms with her peers.

"Platforms like this help us challenge the excuses made for gender-based violence. We discussed how women are blamed for wearing short clothes, yet traditionally, Basotho women wore see-through garments without experiencing abuse. Excuses are being made - we're learning to call them out."

As Phamotse concludes: "These young people are our hope. They're learning to report abuse, to stand up before great damage is done. They won't take these reports for granted as previous generations did."